Casanova, Don Juan, Errol Flynn — these are men who set out to seduce just about every woman they met. This is not Ironman behavior.
'But this is a book about dominating women, about being in control in your relationships with women. How can you then turn around and say the Ironman is not a womanizer?'

Because it's true. The Ironman wants to win women he is seriously attracted to, but he does not want to waste his time chasing every single girl who catches his eye. Yes, he's interested in a lot of women and finds many of them attractive. But he also understands there is something creepy and superficial about a man who can never settle down, who can never find one woman sexy and interesting enough so that he wants to spend all of his time with one rather than very little of his time with many.

I have a friend who, get this, is a very handsome physician who happens to have a great sense of humor, a Porsche, and a magnificent apartment overlooking the lake on the best street in Chicago. You can just imagine how many women come on to him.

Yet through all the years I've know him, he's rarely dated more than one woman at a time. He's had what in effect has been a series of serious relationships in which he's basically been monogamous. When I asked him why a guy with his obvious appeal hasn't dated dozens of women a month, he replied that he didn't think he'd find it very interesting.

"I like to really get to know one person," he said. "Dating a different girl every night leads to pathetically superficial conversations and relationships. As far as the sex goes, I think it takes time for it to be great. You never get there if you're only dating a woman once or twice. Not only that, I don't want to be seen as a playboy. It doesn't appeal to my self-image. All the people I've admired in sports and entertainment and government, Ted Williams, Hank Aaron, Clint Eastwood, Bill Bradley, Mike Singletary, Tom Watson, have had a serious, down-to-earth, manly image. You don't think of Sandy Koufax flitting from one woman to another. There's something kind of cheesy and weak about it."

My sentiments exactly.


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