I've always been fascinated by the way women respond to pursuits that have typically fascinated men. I love golf. I could play thirty- six holes seven days a week and still want to play more. I love golf clubs and golf balls and golf courses and pro shops and tees and greens and books on golf. When I'm playing golf I don't have a trouble in the world, even when I'm hacking the ball from woods to sand trap to water hazard. I'm happy on a golf course and you'd think the woman in my life would be happy for me and not want to fuck it up in any way.

You'd think that, but you'd be wrong. She somehow resents it, begrudging me the time I spend away from her at the links and, although she'd never admit it, the fact that I have something I love so much in my life and she doesn't.

So how has she responded to this envy? She's taken the game up herself. As have the girlfriends and wives of about fifty million other guys I know. Not only that, it doesn't seem enough for women actually to be playing the game, they want to play with their men.

Which somehow takes a game I love with all my heart and makes it about as enjoyable as, say, an evening at a fairly good movie. Not a disaster, mind you, but nowhere near the sheer pleasure golf can be when you're playing in the foursome you've been playing in for ten years now betting twenty dollars seven ways, with ten dollars for birdies and five dollars for sandies and greenies.

Of course, now that so many women have taken up the game, they claim to love it, just as men do. But how many women do you see getting up at three a.m. to get on line for a tee off time, or driving over a hundred miles because they've heard of a great new course downstate, or playing in the winter with thermal underwear on?

The truth is, the overwhelming majority of women who have taken up golf have done so to pursue men, to be near men, to do a man thing. Women are endlessly fascinated by and drawn to men who have passions separate and apart from them. They attend major league baseball games, cheerlead at football games, have learned to like hard rock and rap. And I submit not out of a natural attraction to these things but primarily because men are so interested in them.

The converse is not true. Men do not seem particularly drawn to shopping, knitting, dance, aerobics, cooking, etc. When they do get involved with these things, more often than not it's because their woman is putting pressure on them to do so.

My point is this: one of the significant differences between men and women is that women are curious about, envious of, and drawn to men's passions, while the reverse is dramatically less true. If you have traditional passions in your life ~ sports, woodworking, cars, hiking, mountain climbing — or less buff ones like gardening, painting, singing, traveling - stick with 'em. Indulge yourself in them.

Not only will they make your life more pleasureable, healthier, and fuller, they will make you more interesting to others, particularly to women. 'How can he be more interested in wacking a stupid little white ball around than in spending time with me?' a woman will wonder.

To some extent we are all drawn to those who seem more interested in other things than they are in us. It demonstrates an independence and a worldliness that makes one more worthwhile and attractive. Which is precisely why the Ironman makes sure not to skimp on his avocations but to indulge himself in them.


Post a Comment

<< Home