Friday

THE IRONMAN MAKES THE FIRST MOVE

We have all heard from our friends, of course, steamy anecdotes of how gorgeous girls dragged them into bed. And it has filled us with envy. Why, we've wondered, doesn't it happen to us? Why do we always have to make the first move? Why are we the ones who always have to risk the chilling specter of rejection?

Let me tell you something. I've been around a long time, and if I
haven't seen and heard it all, I've experienced most of it. I have some extremely handsome, successful male friends who do fabulously well with women. And yet for all the tales I've heard of men being propositioned with little more than a hello, the truth is most of the time ~ and by that I mean
about 97% of the time ~ men have to do the initiating.

My friend Harvey is a tall, good-looking finance executive who, literally, makes a million dollars a year. He's a bit of a wild man with women, having been married to three exquisite blonds, during which time he's also had dozens of affairs. Last year he related to me with some astonishment that a woman he'd just met at a business meeting in Phoenix had rather brazenly suggested the two of them skip lunch and go up to her room.

"But doesn't this happen to you all the time?" I asked.

"Never," he responded. "She said she found me terribly attractive. I've never had a woman come on to me so openly before."

I point this out because I want you to realize how out of the norm it is for women to be so aggressive. Yes, they flirt, they bat their eyes, they push out their breasts, they may touch a man's arm, spray on perfume, look at a man coquettishly. But this is all passive stuff. You will find that for every one woman who throws her panties onstage at Tom Jones, there are 9,999 waiting for you to make the first move.

When you understand this in the bottom of your heart, that it is a man's biological role to initiate seduction, not a woman's, then perhaps you will no longer rue the fact that women haven't been petitioning you for sex all your life. Perhaps you will come to accept the fact that it is you who must get the love-making started, not her. Perhaps one day, when you've become a true Ironman, you will even come to enjoy this role.

It can be tremendous fun.

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