Tuesday

THE IRONMAN IS NOT A CHEAPSKATE

The Ironman also knows a lot of other things about women. He knows, for example, that women like a man to be generous, and that cheapness can be one of the biggest turnoffs there is.

And since I know there are alot of cheap guys out there, I can already hear one of you responding, 'Yeah, but if part of being an Ironman is being in control, doing what you, not she, wants to do, if being an Ironman is moving ahead confidently and not worrying yourself to death about her feelings, then what the hell's wrong with following one's own masculine instincts to keep expenses down.A woman can spend you into bankruptcy if you're not careful. Isn't a guy being weak by throwing money at a woman? Isn't it giving her exactly what she wants?'

And my answer to that is by taking control, you are giving a woman what she wants. She wants you to be in control. Being an Ironman isn't about spiting women. It's about being and staying in control by maintaining our classic, genetically-predetermined roles. Your role is to be in charge; it's to be the wage-earner, the hunter/provider, if you will. Her role is to bear the
children, to nurture them, to decorate the nest, to be somewhat more solicitous of you than you are of her because you're the poor bastard who's got to go out into the world and earn a living everyday.

By being the one who's earning the living, or at least a bigger share of it, you're expected to pay for things. It's part of the deal. You get to escape the tedium of the nest everyday by venturing out into the lively, exciting world. To make up for it, you turn over some of the money you make to her.

The reason I'm such a strong advocate of being generous is that it says so many good things about you, Ironman things. It says you're a winner. You make a good living. You have a good job. It says you're confident. You're not squirreling away every penny you have because you expect to make more —lots more. And it says you have the inner toughness and personal fortitude to accept your genetically assigned role, not like so many men who do nothing but whine about how expensive everything is, but like a true Ironman. The good things in life, including a sexy, beautiful women, are expensive. So be it. You're the provider, you're damn good at it, and over the years you expect to do even better.

So be magnanimous, not a cheap chicken. Take your dates to nice places. If you're passing a bookstore or a candy shop, stop in and buy her something. It's astonishing how a little, occasional gift can open a woman's heart to you. It is the balm of relationships. It is, in its own subtle way, an aphrodisiac. I'm not sure a woman goes so far as to articulate it in her mind, but what she feels, if not thinks, when you bring her an unexpected present is, 'He's thinking about me. I'm on his mind. He's not afraid to spend money on me. He's not stingy. This is a good sign. I want to live a life with nice material things in it. He understands that. There will be more where this came from.

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