Women want you to be in charge, even if you've somehow come to the conclusion that in today's environment they want to be in charge. Don't believe it for a minute. It's patented, sociological hogwash, the idea of the day. If you go back through history, you'll find scores of decades in which women's rights momentarily became an issue in the march of time...and when the dust settled life went pretty much back to the way it always was, with men being the leaders of their country's government, businesses, most important public organizations, and, yes, marriages.

If you can internalize this notion, make it the backbone of your social life, you will find things improving for you almost immediately. For example, don't call up a woman and, in an attempt to please her, ask her what she'd like to do next Friday night. Rather, tell her that you've made reservations at the new French restaurant in town because you've just read a review that described it as one of the ten best restaurants in the region.

Don't say things like, "Whatever you want to do," or "How'd you like to catch a movie with me some night?" or "Do you like Chinese food?" Take charge. Say, "I'm inviting you to the Symphony," or "I'd like you to see the new Spielberg movie with me Saturday night," or "I know a great Chinese restaurant that I want to take you to."

Be positive, confident, clear, and definite. Don't think it's cute or endearing to be tentative, to fumble, to be solicitous. That's for little boys. And for Christ's
sake stop worrying that she doesn't like Chinese food or hates Spielberg. She probably doesn't and if she does, what's the big deal. Either she'll grin and bear it and be dominated...or she'll tell you, in which case you can suggest alternatives or even do what she wants to do.

I'm not implying that you should be a dictator, or that it would be weak to take into account her likes and dislikes. What I am saying is don't fall all over yourself worrying about them ahead of time. Have the confidence to put forth your plan positively and enthusiastically, as if you expect her to like it. If you're overly solicitous or wishy washy, you'll make her nervous. 'What's he trying to hide?' she'll wonder. 'What kind of man is this?'

Check back soon for a discussion on the pitfalls of being cheap, and how to look out for 'gold diggers'.


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