Monday

WHY DON'T WOMEN WANT TO FUCK MORE OFTEN??

It's weird -- female orgasms are way more pleasurable than men's. We, the world, are obsessed with them, their sound, their intensity, their multiplicity. You hear their sounds woven into rap songs, movies, porn.

A guy has one lousy orgasm and lets out a little grunt. Women, conversely, have as many as half a dozen at a time, and they scream and moan and shriek and holler as if it's a feeling that is both exquisitely painful and deliriously pleasurable. A woman's orgasm can last so much longer than a man's.

Given that, why on earth are women so fucking resistant almost every time you suggest sex. "I'm sleepy, gotta get up early with the kids, have a tough day at work tomorrow, we did it last night, I don't want to."

Why -- when they apparently have so damn much fun once you're finally able to talk them into it?

Not content just to ponder this conundrum, I asked 20 women this very question: why do you so often resist something that is so fucking thrilling?

Their answer, plain and simple: it's just so much work getting there. The thought of all the effort they'll have to expend to overcome their natural lethargy and lack of enthusiasm often defeats them -- and you in the process.

What can you do about it?

You've got to employ every possible tool at your disposal. Among the very best are flattery, a shower, talc (on you), an after shave or eau de cologne they like, massage, lots and lots of massage, little kisses of the head, ear, hair, foot rub, shoulder rub, more flattery, promises of jewelry, weekends at a nice hotel, theatre tickets, skilled and endlessly persistent cunnilingus, bringing home flowers, chocolates, the usual bullshit.

You get the picture. If you want more big O's from your lady, you've got to use all the artistry, creativity, generosity, salesmanship, and romance you can muster. And when all else fails, never forget: begging is under-rated. I wish you great success.

Your mentor, e-man.

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At 3:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

She's bored with you. The excitement is in the mating dance. No matter what you do after you've been with her a while, it can't be replicated. At this point, she's with you for security and comfort.

Women like bad boys because they get their juices up. If she chose you, it was more likely because you were safe and stable.

 

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