I meet hundreds of guys in a real quandry: they sort of like a girl they've been dating, but when she starts putting pressure on them to marry, they're not sure if she's the right choice. Not certain they love her enough. Not ready to give up on all the thousands of girls around who are prettier and hotter and more exciting. What's a fellow to do?

I've got the acid test for whether or not you should blast through your misgivings and marry the woman: Can you countenance the thought of her porking another guy, one of your friends, for example. If the answer is no; if the thought of her screwing your best friend Ralphie drives you to distraction, then she is the girl for you. This simple primal drive to keep her for your own is, in my carefully thought out opinion, the most basic form of true love.

If, on the other hand, you don't really give a shit, if your feeling is, hey, I don't particularly like the idea but it's not going to devastate me, then don't marry her. You don't love her. You don't quest for exclusivity. That's not love.

Parents and friends blabber on about compatibility, shared interests, similar backgrounds, suitable backgrounds -- it's all bullshit. The acid test is this: does the image of your pal Tony slipping his hand under her panties fill you with an almost psychotic rage, with terror, with the feeling that if it happened your life would be wrecked for ever after, you love the lady. Go ahead, marry her. And, remember, you heard it here first. From your pal e-man. Never forget: e-man may be a loser, but it doesn't stop him from knowing what's going on.


At 12:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice test. There's some truth there.


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