Wednesday

Rationalization #88: "MY DICK LOOKS MUCH BIGGER WHEN I HAVE A HARD ON."

Yeah, well, so does your dad's, pal, but you know how shocked you are when he goes traipsing through the house with nothing on and his schlong looks so tiny and insubstantial -- almost exactly like yours -- and it's weird 'cause when you were a little kid, dad's dick looked gigantic and you thought that's good 'cause when i grow up i'll have a big dick too, but now that you're a young adult you realize yours just isn't going to do any more growing and you're a prisoner, or should i say victim, of your parents' dna.

So now you like to tell yourself that the real test of a penis is not how it looks in the locker room -- where, nonetheless, you always change under your towel -- but in the bedroom when your little honey is lying in bed, all wet and waiting for you. What happens to your dick then?

Well, the fact is, the bigger the penis soft, the bigger it is hard -- it's proportional. Small when soft...small when hard. That's the story, pal. You've got a little dick all the way around. Time to concentrate on making money or becoming some brilliant doctor or powerful politician -- you're sure as hell not going to attract any women with what you got going on between your legs -- hard or soft.

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