Monday

rationalization #388: "MOM'S IN A BETTER PLACE."

If decaying underground, being devoured by maggots and all manner of blood-sucking fauna is a better place than sitting at dinner in a fancy restaurant, or having great sex with the man of her dreams, then, wow, old Mom's an unusual woman. Preferring death to life, disintegration to, say, yoga class, an eternity of nothingness compared to a hilarious comic movie -- you just don't see it that often.

Or maybe it's you, not mom, who's decided she's in a better place. God, you religious zealots make me nuts. A better place? Death? Burial? Eternal disappearance, never to be seen again? Where is this better place, big boy? Ever seen it? Ever known anybody who's been there?

I'll tell you where a better place is -- right between a live mom's legs.

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