rationalization #22: "WHILE I WAS COMING, I WAS THINKING OF YOU."

Two male friends were having lunch, talking about what men usually wind up talking about -- pussy. One man allowed as how he loved girls' panties, paricularly after they'd been wearing them for a day. His friend had the opposite reaction. "Ugh, I hate all that crusty girly goo that accumulates in the crotch."

"Oh, I love it," said the other. "It's so hot, like the girl was wandering around at the office all day, pretending she was thinking about work, but secretly imagining some big Jamaican guy giving it to her from behind. The more cream the better."

"You like crusty panties," said his pal, "you should see my fucking wife's. By the end of the day, they're yucked up like you wouldn't believe."

"Really! How about bringing me a pair?"

"You want a pair of my wife's used panties -- you're sick." Nevertheless, when they met the next day for lunch, he handed his friend a brown paper bag. You guessed it, inside were his wife's skimpy black thong. And just as he had promised, the crotch area was crusty with vagina goo.

"Oh, man," said his pal. Furtively, he pressed the thong to his nose, for they were sitting in a local diner. "These are excellent."

He hid them in his bureau drawer at home, and when his wife wasn't around pulled them out and whacked off with the panties sitting on his face. Of course, as luck would have it, one Saturday afternoon he fell into a deep sleep, with the thong resting on the pillow next to him.

His wife came into the room looking for her purse, and saw her man asleep in bed, a black thong just inches from his face. Since she herself never wore thongs, you can imagine how curious she was. She tiptoed over, examined the pair of panties, and gave her supine husband a shove. "What the hell are these?" he heard, coming out of his befogged state.

Caught unaware, he had no time to think of an excuse and all he could do was tell her the truth. Naturally, his wife was furious. "You masturbate over another woman's panties, her cream, her aroma," she screamed. "How could you?"

Seizing the offensive, he countered, "What are you getting so angry for. While I was coming, I was thinking of you."


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