Saturday

Rationalization #88: "I JUST DON'T PHOTOGRAPH WELL."

Right, in real life you're a sexy beast. 'cause in real life people pick up on your unbelievable charisma, the power of your personality, the incredible sensuality pulsing through your veins. your aura, your quirkiness, your wit, your intelligence. the trouble with those pesky photographs is that 1/1000th of a second doesn't do you justice, catches the third and most bulging chin of all, picks up the hair sprouting from your ears, your nose, the big brown mole high on your cheek. those things mean nothing in real life when members of the opposite sex see the light in your eye, the electric sense of life in the way you carry yourself -- who cares about the thinning hair, the large dumbo like ears, the yellowing teeth, the thin dry lips -- people don't see these imperfections when they meet the real dynamic you. all they know is they feel an intense magnetic attraction to you. you just hope to christ they don't see a photo of you -- it could wreck the whole thing.

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