Sunday

"MY FRIENDS WILL DO ANYTHING TO GET AHEAD."

Yeah, what a bunch of pussies your friends are, shaving, showering, getting in on time, turning in their assignments early, plastering a smile across their puss, asking the boss if she had a good weekend, limiting themselves to one lousy beer at lunch, staying till quitting time, even staying late if they have to, clipping their fingernails -- talk about selling out. Not you, pal, oh, no, you're no compromiser. You play it straight and pure and true. You head into the office right out of bed because you were taught it's not how you smell or look or whether your hair is matted down in a most peculiar fashion, but the quality of your ideas that count. So what if your co-workers think that sullen scowl across your face may be the sign of an unstable, psychotic personality -- you're not putting on a happy face just to make the squares and hacks feel good. Uh uh, you're all about creativity and originality, that's who you are, and if an assignment doesn't challenge or interest you, you're simply not going to do it. So if getting a raise, or simply keeping your job, means shoving your face so far up the boss' ass that you can lick her colon, well, then you're just going to have to go on unemployment.

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