Sunday

RATIONALIZATION: "My boyfriend is crazy about me -- he's just afraid of committment."

TRUTH: Listen, sister, if we're going to get anywhere with this bozo, we've got to face reality here. The real reason he's dragging his heels is that he's thinking, I'll just string her along until I can land someone prettier, richer, thinner, with bigger tits and a nicer ass. I was there, I know what's going on in this dude's head. "Afraid of committment" gives it too nice a spin. Saves you from hurt feelings. Works as a convenient little catch-phrase to tell your folks and friends. What are we going to do about it? Hit this creep where it hurts. Begin a major flirtation with his best friend. And make him feel in no uncertain terms that you'll sleep with the dude if he doesn't pop the question. Nothing brings a man to his knees faster. And, hell, if he still refuses to get engaged, then go ahead and do it -- fuck his best friend! Might as well have some fun while you're waging your campaign.

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