Tuesday

LIE: " LITTLE MAN BEAT A BIG MAN EVERYTIME IF THE LITTLE MAN KEEPA COMIN'."

TRUTH: IF YOU'RE LITTLE, DON'T UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES GET IN A FIGHT WITH A BIGGER MAN. CHANCES ARE, HE WILL KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. HE MAY EVEN KILL YOU.

Yes, yes, there's nothing like persistence. But what if the big man keepa comin'. I mean, there's no rule that says a big man can't be just as persistent as a pipsqueak. Like little guys don't have a monopoly on persistence. It's not their birthright. My recommendation is that if you're a little guy -- and god knows at 5'4" I'm one of you -- steer clear of fighting and take up something you're much more suited for. Chess, for example. Or knitting. Knitting is great for little guys because they have tiny -- like their penises -- nimble little hands.

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