Tuesday

"IT'S ALL GOOD!!

THE LIE: Your job, love life, weight, living quarters, financial situation, even your breath -- it's all TERRIBLE!


Let's face it, life couldn't be worse: you work as a bagger in a supermarket, your boyfriend -- who was so fat you felt like you were going to suffocate on those rare occasions he wanted to have sex with you -- has dumped you, you're now almost as fat as he was and can't stop stealing the giant chocolate bars at the supermarket where you work and are petrified they're going to fire you from the only job you're qualified for, your parents have asked you to start paying rent on the pathetic little bedroom you grew up in -- and seeing as how you just turned 37 you can hardly blame them -- you owe money on all seven of your credit cards which, for some reason you'll never understand, pre-approved you through the mail, and no matter how often you brush your teeth, whenever you curl your palm in front of your mouth and exhale you detect the unmistakeable aroma of vomit. So the truth is, it's all BAD --
very BAD. And so whenever anybody asks you, "How's it going?," the only way you can deal with it is to tell them the biggest lie possible -- IT'S ALL GOOD.

Hey, when you think about it, maybe that's not such a bad idea. Look at Bush -- he's been getting away with it for the last five years.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home