Monday

TODAY'S RATIONALIZATION

Honey, you're not getting older, you're getting better.

TRANSLATION: Oh, god, look at your chicken neck, the skin all loose and flabby and creased, and your big fat arms, and the whiskers sprouting from your chin, I'm trying to eat my breakfast here....and the really scary thing is it's Saturday morning and we haven't fucked in three weeks and we're having dinner with the Meyersons tonight and you're going to have a few glasses of cheap pinot grigio and Teddy Meyerson's going to
tell his usual lame off-color jokes, leaving you feeling all, ugh!, wet, horny and girlish, so that when we get into bed tonight you're going to hook your foot over mine, the signal that it's high time for me to climb on top -- and the only thing I'm going to be thinking is, please, dear god, give me the strength to get a hard on!

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