1) STEINBRENNER -- Says he wants to win for the "fans of New York." You big, fat, self-aggrandizing fatuous fuck -- the only fan you want to win for is your grasping, greedy self.

2) DE LAY -- You snarling, vicious, avaricious, power mad glutton -- how sweet it'll be to see you pacing, scheming, fuming behind bars. Get over here and give your mommy a blowjob.

3) P DIDDY -- Nobody gives a shit what your name is, was, or will be. Let me see, how else can I call attention to myself. I know, I'll fuck a goat.

4) BUSH -- You're sending other people's kids to Iraq. Why not the twins? Oh, I see, you don't want them fraternizing with all the Latinos and Blacks. Right.

5) BONDS -- Knees were never meant to support a head that big.

6) KEN LAY -- Christ, if it takes any longer to bring you to trial, you'll have died a natural death. But then you make a good point: you had no idea what was going on.

7) MICHAEL BROWN -- Obviously, you care more about horses than people.

8) ROGER CLEMENS -- Isn't it funny that every time you get shelled it turns out you're injured.


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