Sunday

MONSTROUS XMAS RATIONALIZATION!

"IT IS BETTER TO GIVE THAN TO RECEIVE."

Translation: You didn’t get shit. Nothing. Nobody spent a penny on you, not even your family. Last year you woke up at the ass-crack of dawn and desperately ran around for hours on end, scrabbling for deeply discounted deals and maxing-out your astronomically high interest credit cards. You even bought your boss an expensive box of Cohibas, and what did you get in return? He didn’t fire you for another three months.

And this holiday season you’re at it again. Why? Why not fuck ‘em all? Deep down you know you can’t buy your friends. In fact, they’d appreciate you more if you ignored them. But that’s not in your DNA, pal. And you’ll do it again next year, too.

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