Monday

TOP 11 RELIGIOUS RATIONALIZATIONS

1) all things happen for a reason

2) the meek shall inherit the earth

3) God is testing me

4) love thine enemies

5) the Lord works in mysterious ways

6) I'm getting my house in order

7) it is better to give than to receive

8) God is on our side

9) the Lord would never throw anything at me
He didn't think I was strong enough to handle

10) it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye
of a needle than for a rich man to pass through
the gates of heaven

11) somewhere up in heaven, mom is looking down on us

ISN'T IT STRANGE THAT THE PEOPLE WHO RUN RELIGION ARE ALWAYS TELLING THEIR BELIEVERS TO BE PATIENT AND THEY'LL GET THEIRS IN HEAVEN? HOW COME ALL THE BIG POWERFUL CLERGYMEN GET THEIRS RIGHT HERE ON EARTH -- THE PRIVATE JETS, LIMOUSINES, MANSIONS, $5,000 SUITS??? MAKES YOU WONDER.

PS. I myself do not believe in God. I am only capitalizing His name out of respect for my beloved readers who are believers, who say things to me like, "When you see a new blade of grass on a beautiful spring day, how can you not believe in God?" And I say, "What kind of god would create cancer of the pancreas...or give a little baby girl spina bifida?" Then they instantly go into those testing rationilizations...you know, God would never throw at me blah blah blah....and I answer, "Well, if you die from the pancreatic cancer which has a death rate of about 99.76 per cent, then I guess He has thrown something at you that you couldn't handle." And then the reply is, "Oh, but God takes the very good and the very gentle young, to be with Him up in heaven." Man, those cats got an answer for everything.
Your friend, E-man, angry as ever!

3 Comments:

At 1:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

E-man,
It is important to respect divine light and reason, even when the reasons don't seem logical.

 
At 2:45 PM, Blogger Kelly Sue said...

At least you humor us. And anyone who thinks God manages every little bit of our lives is riding the crazy bus.

 
At 11:53 PM, Anonymous Alex Gershon said...

E-Man,
Love your columns. I think your rants are the best. They're just like great beat poetry. Can't wait for your next post.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home