Wednesday

WIN $259 BY SENDING IN BRILLIANT LOSER RATIONALIZATIONS!

My Aunt Rochelle just died and left me, get this, $659. Since I’m running out of LOSER RATIONALIZATIONS, I thought I’d recruit anybody who’s desperate enough to frequent this website to send me more. The very best one wins $259. I figure I’ll keep $400 for the next time my piece of shit car breaks down. By the way, if you don’t know what a LOSER RATIONALIZATION is, here are a few of my favorites:

1) It’s all good.
2) I’m leaving my job to spend more time with my family.
3) Size doesn’t matter.

The contest ends May 15th. So keep ‘em coming –- even a loser can win this contest! By the way, once you send 'em in, they're mine, baby. Make sure you send your e-mail address so I know where to contact you in case you win. E-man, biggest loser of all.

13 Comments:

At 5:38 PM, Anonymous Randy said...

I give the appearance of being a lot taller than I really am -- 5'4".

 
At 3:00 PM, Anonymous Lynn said...

Going to the gym makes me feel energetic and healthy.

 
At 9:44 PM, Anonymous Jennifer said...

I'm considered important at my office, at least by the other assistants.

 
At 9:45 PM, Anonymous Smitty said...

My mom loved me the second best, my other sibling came first.

 
At 12:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I'd gone into the private sector I could have made a lot more money, but for me teaching school has been mucr more gratifying.

 
At 12:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I'd gone into the private sector I could have made a lot more money, but for me teaching school has been much more gratifying.

 
At 3:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

size does matter, but only in handgrenaids and horeshoes

 
At 10:55 AM, Anonymous Lyle said...

Of course we should sleep with other people ... I think it's healthy.

 
At 10:59 AM, Anonymous Jeanie said...

I'm just so busy. I don't have time for a relationship.

 
At 11:31 AM, Anonymous Theodore said...

our whole earth is a rationalization. I learnt this the day I walks in on two of my best friends togetha in a dark room ...

...playing the best game of all time, D&D! Yeahhh! Dungeons and Dragons to you mere mortals ...

life is so much better when magic and prophecies and cool heroes, not rules and books and stiff wooden priests/politicians, govern. Therefore in conclusion I conclude, we are all losers.

 
At 10:57 PM, Anonymous Eddie888@hotmail.com said...

Reason i never bring a girl to a party or a club is i want to keep my options open, you know just in case i meet a chick who's hotter than the one i brought.

 
At 9:38 AM, Anonymous Zenman said...

Rich does not equal wealthy.

 
At 2:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You get essentially the same education at Montclaire State as you do at Harvard, without the price tag.

 

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