Top 10 Loser Rationalizations

1) The only reason I got fired is because my boss is jealous of me.

2) Size doesn’t matter.

3) Who needs the Hamptons – we’ve got beautiful beaches right here in Jersey.

4) Beauty is only skin-deep.

5) We’re spreading Democracy.

6) Yeah, Lisa’s a big woman – more to hold onto.

7) I don’t have a jealous bone in my body.

8) Freelance, baby! I wouldn’t take a steady job again if you paid me.

9) The kid I secretly love best of all. The one with spina bifida.

10) It’s all good.

Remember, gang, the only thing worse than being a Loser is pretending you’re not. Drop by anytime.


At 9:27 AM, Blogger sebastian said...

Rationalizing helps me deal, schmuck.

At 9:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find real people a thousand times more interesting than celebrities.

At 9:35 AM, Blogger sebastian said...

The better-looking people are the more vapid they are.

At 7:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The acne scars from his teen-aged years give my husband a real look of character -- like Mickey Rourke.

At 4:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a consultant.

At 10:05 AM, Anonymous Jersey Girl said...

I'd never want to date a really good-looking guy because a) they're so stuck up b) in bed they're only interested in themselves c) they're so used to being catered to they're just plain dull d) they attract more attention than the girl they're with e) they can't be trusted
f) most of them are gay!

At 3:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you say "we're spreading democracy" is rationalization. How about, we're spreading being civilized. Most of these countries are ready to hack eachother apart with machetes. No one here is naive enough to think that The U.S. is doing all the stuff we're up to purely for the sake of these people being voters, but one thing for sure is that they can breathe easier without a facist regime and tribal skirmishings. Economic progress equals growth, and growth equals stablization.

At 12:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yo" jersey girl" and g) 'cause they wouldn't date your ugly ass anyway


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