How To Tell If You're a Loser:
1) You hang on to victories from the past, like the only time you ever won a high school tennis
match -- against a kid with a prosthetic leg.
2) The first question you ask about someone with money is, Yeah, but is she really happy?
3) You find yourself irresistibly drawn to teams like the Chicago Cubs and New York Jets, spiraling into a deep, dark funk each time your team loses.
4) You love and often repeat sentiments such as Beauty is only skin deep, More than a handful is wasted, The meek shall inherit the earth.
5) Your favorite films are Rocky, Play It Forward, Hoosiers, Mask, during which you tear up helplessly.
6) Your favorite songs are Eye of The Tiger, Wind Beneath My Wings, Rhythm of My Heart, during which you blubber uncontrollably.
Listen, ma’am, sir, friend, Loser, you’re clearly into a major, monster pattern of identification with the downtrodden. Here’s the hard truth: The underdog wins but only in the movies.
Is there any hope? Probably not.